Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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