have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
