I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
