I feel like I'm in dance class right now
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
