I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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