Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
