the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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