i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is Oprah even human
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize