I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
