If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
