I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
