is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
