I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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