He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
