if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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