she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
