the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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