Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
