To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
