Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
