i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
