the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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