Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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