aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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