He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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