So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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