People in love make me want to vomit
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
