Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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