I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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