Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
