Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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