i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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