...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
