You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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