I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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