Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
