Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My liver just had a heart attack.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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