Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
