hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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