Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize