Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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