He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
