I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
