Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
