Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
