she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
