So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
