is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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