It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
