Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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