In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize