Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
