well you can't waste a boner
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
