so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
