your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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