too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
