there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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