Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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