don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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