it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
