So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
