Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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