id be glad to
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize