Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize