Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
