She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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