I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
