great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
