he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
