If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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