he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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