We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
