omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
