His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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