she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
