Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize