I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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